
Would you rather…go a week w/o brushing your teeth or w/o taking a shower?
Would you rather…sneeze for an hour or hiccup for an hour?
Would you rather…Have one good friend for life or lots of friends for a short time?
(for more great questions get Doug Fields' book
"Would You Rather...")
With good friends comes great possibilities. Sharing laughs, stories and adventures is great. But what about the risks of friendship? The times when a “secret” was shared and someone became a “tattle-tale” or “gossip.” With that in mind, it doesn’t take much to imagine these words spoken by the likes of Don Corleone or Tony Soprano that came from editorialist
“Mr. Mafioso” who said:
Don't even bother telling me that friends are people we care for, blah, blah, blah. You care for your friends because they know everything about you or because they owe you money. Without those two things, your caring level drops fast.
Now, I may be a wiseguy but I'm also human, and despite everything I've said, nobody can do anything alone. At a certain point in our lives, we all need friends, check this, close friends, because friends are a dime a dozen. With that in mind, you have to realize that you must be very careful about choosing the select few (and privileged in my case), people that you can say are your good friends.
THE STORY OF NAAMANIn the story of Naaman, in 2 Kings 5, we see the importance and value of choosing wisely, the people we surround ourselves with… 2 Kings 5:1-5, 9-15a
Now Naaman, captain of the army of the king of Aram, was a great man with his master, and highly respected, because by him the LORD had given victory to Aram. The man was also a valiant warrior, but he was a leper. Now the Arameans had gone out in bands and had taken captive a little girl from the land of Israel; and she waited on Naaman's wife. She said to her mistress, "I wish that my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria! Then he would cure him of his leprosy." Naaman went in and told his master, saying, "Thus and thus spoke the girl who is from the land of Israel." Then the king of Aram said, "Go now, and I will send a letter to the king of Israel." He departed and took with him ten talents of silver and six thousand shekels of gold and ten changes of clothes. (2 Kings 5:1-5 NASB)
So Naaman came with his horses and his chariots and stood at the doorway of the house of Elisha. Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, "Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh will be restored to you and you will be clean." But Naaman was furious and went away and said, "Behold, I thought, 'He will surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper.' "Are not Abanah and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?" So he turned and went away in a rage. Then his servants came near and spoke to him and said, "My father, had the prophet told you to do some great thing, would you not have done it? How much more then, when he says to you, 'Wash, and be clean'?" So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God; and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child and he was clean. When he returned to the man of God with all his company, and came and stood before him, he said, "Behold now, I know that there is no God in all the earth, but in Israel…(2 Kings 5:9-15 NASB)
In the course of waging war, Syria had enslaved an Israelite girl as a slave in Naaman’s home. After peace was established with Israel she spoke up about Naaman’s condition and the man of God who could heal him. After receiving permission and wealth to give away Naaman travels to Israel and the dwelling of the prophet Elisha, God’s man in Israel. But rather than meeting Elisha and having a ritual performed before him, Naaman is greeted by Elisha’s servant and receives the order to bathe in the Jordan seven times.
The cults of the Ancient Near East have been well documented as have their extravagant ceremonies. From Naaman’s experience he was only familiar with dealing with priests who manipulated the emotions of the so-called gods of Syria. He was also used to the being in the presence of kings first his Syrian king and then the Israelite king not servants. And taking a bath in the Jordan river? That apparently was taking things too far!
But it was again, an unnamed, anonymous servant who came to Naaman and appealed to the master to consider the prophet’s words. I imagine today the converstaion might go a little something like, “Sir, we know that if he had double dog dared you to go tweak the nose of Pharoah down in Egypt, you’d do it. This is a piece of cake! Just go take seven baths and we’re on the way home.”
WHO SURROUNDS US? That got me to thinking about an article recently by Margaret Heffernan, former CEO & author who expressed a growing concern in corporations about weak leaders surrounding themselves with weak assistants. She shared about a team interviewing three job candidates for a new position. One was too young, one was too rude and one was too qualified. Who did our manager want to hire? The one too young. The manager felt threatened by the best candidate and didn’t realize you must always hire people smarter than yourself.
This writer must have taken Naaman’s class. He was already considered a great man by his king and respected by others. But what may not be so obvious is how he surrounded himself with people he could count on even in the form his slave girl and servants. But more than this, these individuals who were apparently subjected to him by law, were endeared to him as a “father,” which is how the servant spoke to him.
WHO IMPACTS US?How often is your life impacted by the people around you? Everyday!
Sure, we know the power of peer pressure as kids but let’s be real, have you not felt the pressure to keep up with the newest fads? Some have had to stand up to employers over unethical business practices. It is hard to tune out all the messages.
So who builds you up? If we are asking what is the wise thing to do, then who are the goodfellas in your life? Who are you being a goodfella to?
My first experience with a goodfella was Brad. Brad challenged me not long after my decision to follow Jesus. We were playing one-on-one when he asked me if I thought about the words I used. Because of my cussing, he couldn't tell any difference in my life. Brad taught me the value and grace of goodfellas. Today, I’ve meet with Chris and Scott, two pastors and two friends I trust greatly. I also have 3 friends who are my “personal board of directors” – guys pray for me regularly and have permission to challenge me on all areas of my life.
This isn’t running contrary to the idea of “walking across the room,” but we’re examining who are the one’s whose counsel we turn too? The writer of Proverbs observed two things:
Proverbs 13:20 GW Whoever walks with wise people will be wise, but whoever associates with fools will suffer.
Proverbs 27:17 GW As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens the wits of another.
Jesus also made a similar point about what kind of love true friendship requires and it is the love Jesus himself showed to us. It is the kind of love that transforms and sharpens us. It is love we also call grace. John wrote down Jesus’ words when he said,
Love each other as I have loved you. This is what I'm commanding you to do. The greatest love you can show is to give your life for your friends. (John 15:12-13, GW)
This is the kind of love Jesus makes possible and it is a gift of grace to find friends who share it. You see, wiseguys need goodfellas and goodfellas all need God’s grace.
May I Ask: Who sharpens You? Who are you helping to sharpen?
May I Suggest: Take 5 minutes this week and take an inventory of your friends. Who are the ones who sharpen you? Who are you sharpening? To those who are sharpening you, write them a thank you note. For those you are sharpening, write them a note of encouragement. Send them both!