It isn’t like I haven’t had to do the same thing for the better part of two hunting seasons now and plans to section hike the A.T. and many other things. This is what is unseen about being a caregiver with someone with a terminal or life-threatening illness. I have learned this in my cancer caregiver support group. I learned this from the wonderful caregivers I spent time with through Inheritance of Hope’s NYC Trip this past Thanksgiving. I’m not speaking this just for me but for all the caregivers who have to say no every day to their lives, their friends, their hopes and their dreams.
In reality, we all have said a more profound, more resounding, and more soulful: Yes.
But this week, I also go for my regular blood work and ultrasound on my remaining testicle because I’m not only a cancer care-giver, I am a cancer survivor. The odds are so slim I’ll have a recurrence of testicular cancer but it IS a possibility and I do not get a pass on this. I do not get a pass on my health, I can no longer take anything for granted. I do not get to pass this off. I said yes on January 15, 1995 and I don’t get to give up. I said yes twice to the responsibility of being a dad. So if that means I have to fight cancer, or a disease that takes half my vision or migraines, then so be it.
I said yes to those three people. Loving them means I have to say no.
It is not so simple for us to just have somebody else come in and help. We pay a price for saying yes and we also pay a price for saying no. We learn this as we go along I think and we had no idea and nobody could possibly convey the price to us.
Remember, sometimes love means saying no.
And here is my yes: