At the Edge. My First Thoughts On My Wife's Fight.
I told my two kids that the emotions they would feel would
come and go and be like a roller coaster.
Yes, even in the middle of class, tears might have to be fought
back. A simple thought or moment could
stun them. How did I know? Because this is not my first rodeo with
cancer. The difference is I’m not the
one fighting, my wife is.
I’m on the sideline this time and I’m going to be up front,
it sucks. This is the woman I love. My best friend, my partner in crime, the one
I share my memories with and the mother of my kids. We’ve been married for 19 years, going on 20
and that means I’ve now spent more of my life in a home I have shared with her
than the home I shared with my folks. It
took a few minutes for that to sink in today.
What’s more is that I’m a pastor. I’m supposed to have answers for this. Bible verses should just pop right out. The right one, at the right moment, and said
in just the right way. But they’re not
coming, not like that anyway.
I am
really thankful for all the Facebook messages and notes. The e-mails from fellow clergy really mean a
lot, really.
I think something should be different but I know, from
experience, it won’t be, not just yet.
Right now is the calm before the storm.
We’re just on the edge of things, “There Be Monsters” signs are posted
but we’re not far enough into the forest to get a sense of the danger. Not yet anyway.
I don’t know what I don’t know but what I do know is we have
faith. We have hope. We have love.
There is no banging gongs here.
This is a place of shadow and even here, God has placed the standard of
His reign. Even in the darkness, the
presence of Providence is near.
Faith. Hope. Love. These
three have been enough.
Faith. Hope. Love. Heather, my love, God is here. God is
enough.
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6 comments:
Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine what you are going through. But I will support you both any way I can, starting with praying every day. Please let me know what you need. Love you both with all my heart!!!!!
Ken, I am praying for your wife, for you, for your children, for all of your family, and for your church family.
Prayers for all of you as Heather begins this battle, one day, one hour, sometimes one breath at a time, just keep asking God for peace, strength, and healing.
Just read your post Ken. The path you are on certainly isn't easy. Seems that our path's have some similarities in that I was a caregiver for my wife while she had breast cancer. And now I am a survivor of colon cancer! My prayers are with you, my friend!
Rev. Gary Whatley, Pleasant Grove UMC - LAGR
Thank you all for reading and especially for your thoughts and prayers. -Ken
Beautiful post. I am a high school friend of Heather. Praying for healing so that Heather can continue to be the "awesome" that she has always been.
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